Single - 5 Times it's Great, 5 Times it's Not & The Top 5 Times it's HIGHLIGHTED for you!
Well this post is exactly what it says on the tin, from a female point of view but I'm sure both genders can relate and laugh along. Thank you all for the support so far and I hope you enjoy this installment of Liz's musings. :D
Great Stuff!! Oh how wonderful, Single-dom; it's so faaaab! 5 Times its the best to be on your Toblerone!
1. - Starfish planting your Bed and knowing that theres no one to make room for; its ALL yours!
2. - When you don't have to share food (or disappoint someone who thinks sharing meals is a thing... it's not... Get your own)
3. - Getting to keep the WHOLE present! Yeah a lot of these are perks of "couple" stuff not applying to you! lol. There are some people who give "couple" gifts to people like a Bottle of Wine or Box of Chocolates... At least when you're flying solo you can keep the whole present.
4. - Solo Travelling - no one to check in with or tell that you are leaving... just pack your bags and off you go! Up, up and away!
5. - Decision Making - coming to an agreement with another person is often difficult and you have the added pressure of did I chose correctly. When solo you can pick what suits you and no one to say "I told you so."
Not so Hot :-/ You know, those times where you're not feeling it, it's not a joke, it's a dig and you can stick it up yer huu- haa hun!
1. - When you return home for... The Pattern/Blessings of The Dead, Halloween, Christmas or any other public or family gathering where people of the senior variety thrive. The precise moment some Biddy asks ya if "you've any fella up in the big smoke there now?" or WORSE; "When will we have a Day Out?" I don't know Paula when are you thinking of Popping your clogs love?
2. - If you ever feel the hunger and go anywhere decent on your own for a quick lunch or dinner; Nandos is a big culprit of this one... You hear those words; "Table for 1 hun?" or "Just yourself is it?" Ruins a bit of the experience before you've even began. People are capable of eating food quite successfully on their own you know... "hun".
3. - When someone asks if you have a boyfriend/girlfriend or partner (or worse if you're married - Kindly Do One! If you don't see a diamond; get the hint!). Thats not so bad; just a question right? Except for when its followed by the knowing smiling head tilt... where they already know you're a single pringle but want to be a massive donkey and ask you anyway... special place in hell for that sort!
4. - "Your Next of Kin" fill in section of any form - "Yes so the relationship between this person and I? … Eh, Its my Mother". Always sounds a lot more pathetic than it actually is.
Most of the time should you be in any sort of situation that requires serious medical assistance your mother or guardian will be in attendance. Yet when we say it allowed in the hospital or doctors office it just sounds so lonesome doesn't it?
5. - Bringing the Shopping in Out of the Car - That moment when you decide; "right that's it I'm only making one trip, I'll take everything together all at once.... cabbages are slipping out from under your chin, you can feel the bog roll is getting ready to escape from your armpit clamp. Pray, pray, pray that everything balances until you get to the front doorstep!!
Painfully aware! You know, like when you stub your toes off that corner and the shock reverberates all the way to your spine.... It wouldn't go past without you missing it anyway, as the lad said!
1. - New Years Eve - particularly around midnight there... but sure who cares anyway there will be another one next year!
2. - Valentine's Day can suck it also... Fuck. That. Shit. Not Dealing with it... Red flowery crap everywhere... St. Valentine dearest; you're just a chubby baby in a nappy, put it away.
3. - Christmas Day Engagement Announcements - Fab! Everyone and their sister is "I Said Yes!" - ing all over the place and your dress is heaving at the seems from too much stuffing... not only are you feeling like that pudgy lad in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory but now you actually want to EAT said Chocolate Factory.
4. - Dinner Parties - as good ole Bridget Jones would say... there's nothing worse than a smug married couple other than lots of smug married couples! Just wear your boobiest dress and see all the women get exceedingly annoyed at their husbands.
5. - Wedding Invites! - When its just your name and you know you will end up on a table with all your old friends from school and their significant others. Or, even lovelier when you get the "+1" attachment onto your name... Wonderful boost to self esteem.
Well there you have it folks, I hope you have enjoyed and gotten a little giggle. All in all, in the end, no one dies because we are single so laugh at the common pains we all experience - just some pretend to forget and watch out for my next Blog - the stuff single people forget coupled ones have to deal with when the honeymoon period wears off... Clearly the title needs work but that's what tomorrow is for!
Happy New Year!! May 2020 bring you all the happiness (solo or attached) that you deserve.
Love & Light,