10 Reasons I Don't Ever Wanna Be a Girl Boss!
Updated: Dec 31, 2019
"It seems to be the nature of a woman to compete, rather than help her fellow sister". We hear "Girl Boss" bandied around like it's a positive attribute to aspire to, however, if we take a moment to research this term we find that it has less positive meaning and connotations than one would assume. In actual fact I was shocked I'd ever ignorantly used the term.
While used numerous times per day on social media to attempt to promote empowerment and positive attributes, on closer inspection it denotes a female who is in constant competition with other females. Now call me a feminist, but surely in this day and age, we are striving for equality across the board not just against our own sex. As one fabulous snapchatter pointed out today "you don't hear men calling themselves "boyboss" so why is it acceptable to call women "girlboss"". I felt she had a valid point and after chatting briefly with her I decided I didn't know enough on the subject and further investigation was needed.
Laura from the well known "Laura's Views" inspired me to have a good old ponder and thrash this one out here! Cheers Laura ;)
So here we go....
1. Who is she?
Firstly, who qualifies as a girl boss? Only women that work? Only women that work for themselves? That leave out a huge portion of the female population now, doesn't it?
I have so many friends who inspire me every day with their strength, determination, creativity and hard work, but because they don't happen to be self employed I can't refer to them as a girl boss? Although "Woman Boss" would be more accurate. Which leads me onto my next point...
2. What age is she?
I don't consider myself a 'girl' anymore, can I still use it? Why do we put negative attachment on growing older? WomanBoss just doesn't evoke the same level of esteem or empowerment among the instagram crowd, but why?
Are we only cutting edge while we are young? Do we fall by the wayside and give up once we hit a certain age? Coming from an industry where the age range starts ridiculously young (16 or younger), I choose to be inspired by Make Up Artists and Hair Stylists of all genders, nationalities, ages and experience levels. Why? I suppose because I'm secure enough within myself not to feel the need to constantly compare myself to fictional images of others. I'd rather be me, and compare myself to myself.
This notion of course, bears us the question;
Are we now ageist as well as sexist and self destructive?
3. Is she self destructive?
"Self Destructive? What's she on about?" I hear you question. By this, I refer to my opening quotation that we encounter daily in every aspect of living. "I want to be the prettiest, the slimmest, the best turned out girl/woman/mother/female" at this event; be it a wedding, the races, the school run.
"Do my runners match my outfit?" said no dad on the school run ever! Why can't we compete with ourselves instead of our friends, relatives, peers? Surely that's a very destructive approach to life and business, one that will hamper ones efforts to expand and move up the ranks of any business, including growing your own.
There will ALWAYS be someone doing "better" than you, why not applaud them and aspire to accomplish similar rather than tear them down and wish you were in their place?
4. Does she suffer from Grass is Greener syndrome?
Social Media is a 'divil' for it! We always want what other people have, instead of what suits our taste and need. We are constantly bombarded with trends when ironically the individuals that design the catwalks of Paris and Milan are as unique as they come. Karl Lagerfeld, John Galliano, Anna Sui and Vivienne Westwood to name but a few. They revel in their difference because it makes them who they are, they do not conform to 'simple straight lines', they push boundaries and try new things, hence why they are esteemed designers.
I say, instead of focusing on what is designed, ask how and why it is designed? Yes to make a living, but also to evolve a brand that has built its name on being different, quirky, out there.
We are always evolving and growing as human beings, if we weren't the world would be a very boring place. However, as the saying goes "I'm too busy watering my grass to check if yours is greener".
Adjusting your flying settings to accomplish this can do us every possible good, at the very least, it will do us no harm. Speaking of harm...
5. Does she wish harm on her Competition?
Frenemies are everywhere in this particular environment, and while competition can spur us on to an extent positively, we must be careful not to get caught up in the world of pitting successful female against successful female.
Situations like this become extremely apparent when female only (or predominantly female) awards come around. Instead of discussing all the achievements each candidate has received, we hear people question and qualify exactly how deserving this woman is as opposed to that woman.
What if! Everyone was deserving of an award just for simply accomplishing what they had accomplished. Well, I suppose if everyone won and we didn't get to see someone lose then it wouldn't be entertainment, would it?
6. Does she really think there is no such thing as Bad Publicity?
Whether we like it or not, we are influenced by social media, some to the extent that they equate their worth with how many likes a photo got or the amount of followers one person has as opposed to another.
Heck, there's even an award for it! But are we actually aware of what we are doing? Is everything acceptable? Selling ourselves out to make a couple of hundred euro, and for what? Publicity, fame, follows, likes, endorsements?
How about taking a moment to realize what Social Influencer actually means? It refers to the clout you have online to influence the ideas and possible views of other.
Now when we take into consideration that our youth is becoming technologically aware younger and younger every year, it becomes almost scary the influence these people have over others, and at times, do not seem to respect that completely. Buying into fads and 'must haves', trendy shoes and views.
What if we were radical? What if we encouraged our individuality and embraced what makes us different? Holy Shit, people do that? Imagine for a moment, we did something kind or charitable for someone else, and DID NOT upload it to social media!? Did it really happen? Does it even count?
7. Does she realise Social Media is NOT Reality?
We have all been guilty of thinking social media platforms portray peoples lives, but they don't, they portray what a certain individual wants us to see, it is not a warts and all expose on life. It is a rose tinted glasses picture of a pleasant aspect of that persons life today.
"All it takes is a beautiful fake smile to hide an injured soul and they will never notice how broken you really are" Robin Williams
Don't be fooled into thinking that these people have wonderful stress free lives and aspire to have one similar. It will never happen. Not because you are incapable of achievement but because it is impossible to make real the impossible.
Why do we do this to ourselves? And worse, why do these people think it acceptable not to portray all sides of a day? They did not wake up like that! Trust me!
8. Does she ever sleep?
As the previous point suggests, none of these influencers woke up like this and while I commend those who fully admit and make it known that they look like crap for most of the day, just like the average human, it worries me that our younger people might think themselves not good enough if they don't wake up looking pristine or if they feel in foul form for reasons unbeknownst to themselves.
The Instagramers, snapchatters and youtube gurus of the modern day seem to be posting constantly, having meetings consistently, in some ways never wanting their followers to switch off from them, because God forbid they might actually have an individual thought that wasn't implanted from the last #ad the influencer did. We are constantly being sold to, and putting #ad in front of a post doesn't make me think you're a good person, sorry!
9. Does she know how to be a Good Person without Social Media?
Charity work, donations, publicity, awareness. there are so many buzz words for it but what it all boils down to is marketing. Gone are the days when you'd quietly save your pences in a Trocaire box and donate it like everyone else at the same time to help others in need.
Now every charitable donation that occurs needs to be posted, taken a photo of or televised. Where has our basic human decency disappeared to? Has any young person heard of the pay it forward idea? Or volunteering? Charity Shop work?
It seems as though in the present time, unless you literally take photo, filter it, upload it and hashtag the be-jazus out of it; it couldn't possibly have happened!
What about our young people? What about helping them? I've seen a very limited number of "influencers" and "Bloggers" talking about things that affect our youth and children; CDV, STIs, Social Consciousness, Puberty etc., - The Gritty Stuff. I whole-heartedly commend these people because these are the really important issues that need to be spoken about but why is everyone not concerned with these issues? Have we lost the run of ourselves as my parents would say? Are we even being authentic? Do we even know who we are anymore?
10. Does she remember who she is?
Anyone who starts writing online or anywhere for that matter, will no doubt lose themselves along their journey, however, the one thing I think is vital to keep with us is; who we are; what we want to achieve and who we want to help in doing so.
As the saying goes; "We are the sum of our experiences", but what if our experiences aren't positive? What if they aren't the same as everyone else? What if I don't feel the way I'm supposed to? What if I'm NOT happy all the time? What's wrong with me? I don't fit in here.
With more and more cases of self harm, suicide and depression not only amongst teenagers (our most vulnerable group in society) but numbers also on the rise in older age brackets; it astonishes me that mental health and reality is not spoken, blogged, tweeted, instagramed, facebooked and youtubed more!
Instead people pretend to eat right, dress right, conduct themselves right... I'm sorry to burst your bubble but it's all baloney! Get a grip! Your legs won't fall off if you're not wearing the latest cool leggings, you're gonna be just fine kid.
In finishing, I have come to the conclussion that I am a "Boss", you are a "Boss", we are all "Bosses". Once we choose to take control of our own destiny and do good by others and the universe, whats stopping us from feeling powerful, confident, capable and ready to take on the challenges of life.
"Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day, teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime".
If you stand for something and think with your heart then you're the best kind of "Boss" in my eyes; You are your own Boss. Whether you work for yourself or another or even at all is irrelevant, the most important thing is to accomplish all you are able to, to create all you can and to let your light shine in whatever way you see fit.
"If you don't stand for anything, you will fall for everything".
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Until Next Week,
Light, Love, Live,